Join us on a captivating journey, crossing continents and generations. * We will travel from Chevron to Lubavitch, observe hiskashrus and bravery during the war and the revolution. * We will learn about giving, about bracha and purity. * In a touching interview, Rebbetzin Sima Ashkenazi talks about her mother, Mrs. Yaffa Wolpo a”h
By Hila Crispin and Mina Ur
Rebbetzin Sima Ashkenazi’s father, R’ Yitzchok Zev Wolpo, receiving a dollar from the RebbeHOLY ROOTS
My mother, Mrs. Yaffa Wolpo, was a noble woman. She came from holy stock, being a sixth generation descendant from the Alter Rebbe. The house my mother grew up in shaped her exceptional personality. It was a home of mesirus nefesh in the fullest sense of the term.
My mother’s father, R’ Ezriel Zelig Slonim a”h, was a great-grandson of Rebbetzin Menucha Rochel. He was born in Chevron. When he was eight months old, Arabs murdered his father. His mother remarried an Admur who was a good father to the children but was not a Chabad Chassid. My grandfather, as a boy, would sit in a corner of the room and would watch his stepfather daven with much sobbing as he paced the room. His mother, who was a very Chassidic woman, was afraid that he would not know the way of Chabad and so when he turned fifteen, she took him by ship to Lubavitch in Russia, to the Rebbe Rashab.
They arrived in Lubavitch on Erev Yom Kippur. The Rebbe was sitting and learning. My grandfather was young and shy and found it hard to walk into the room to the Rebbe. His mother pulled him in, burst into tears, and asked the Rebbe to promise her that her son would be G-d fearing. She knew that she would not see him for a long time. She was leaving him there, he had no father, and she did not know whether she would see him again. The Rebbe promised her that her son would be G-d fearing and being reassured, she returned to Eretz Yisroel.
My grandfather would sit at the Rebbe’s table on Shabbos and Yom Tov, but being awestruck, he would not put anything in his mouth. He was hungry most of the time since in the dormitory there was no food because he was supposedly eating at the Rebbe, and at the Rebbe he did not eat since he was too refined. Rebbetzin Rivka and Rebbetzin Shterna Sarah noticed this and they would put cake and fruit in his pockets. They would write to his mother that he was a Chassid and learning well and that she should have nachas and not worry.
My grandfather remained in Russia for about ten years and then went to Charson to start a yeshiva. In the meantime, World War I broke out, toward the end of which the communist revolution began. The Rebbe Rashab passed away in 1920 and the Rebbe Rayatz was appointed his successor. Before my grandfather went to Charson he was the Rebbe Rayatz’s study partner and now he had to accept him as his Rebbe.
When he went to Rostov and entered the Rebbe’s house, he met the Rebbe Rayatz and my grandfather exclaimed, “Rebbe!” He immediately accepted the Rebbe Rayatz as his Rebbe with the utmost bittul.
His Ahavas Yisroel is indescribable. Here is one example. Life was hard with starvation, diseases and epidemics in which many perished. Deadly typhus was widespread. My grandfather came down with typhus and his fever went up so high that he lost consciousness and was hospitalized. A few days later he suddenly regained consciousness and the nurse offered him hot soup. Since he was afraid to have any because of kashrus concerns, he decided to leave the hospital. He walked out to the street while leaning on the walls, he was so weak. Jews were standing on a long line in order to get a little dry bread. He also stood on line and waited outside for three hours. After he received his portion, he suddenly noticed a Jew lying on the street because he was starving and he unhesitatingly gave him his bread.
After ten years abroad, my grandfather, who was 25 by then, borrowed money and returned to Eretz Yisroel. He married his niece who had grown up in his parents’ home during those years he had been away. His older sister Sheindel Mushka had died at age 21 and had left a two year old baby. My grandfather’s mother took the little orphan and raised her. She was 22 by the time he returned home.
I ALSO WANT A FATHER!
After they married, the Rebbe Rayatz gave him a special assignment, making him shadar and sending him to five continents. He wanted my grandfather to look for descendants of Anash who had gone off the derech and be mekarev them. The Rebbe always wrote him where to travel and what to do there. Each place had its special missions. The poverty in Eretz Yisroel was great and the trips were made with great mesirus nefesh. He did not have money, not to go and not to return, and none to leave for his wife.
When my mother was born he was not in Eretz Yisroel at the time. He returned when she was a year and a half. He put down his luggage and went outside to look for his Sheindele among all the children there. As soon as he saw her, he sensed she was his daughter. My mother was very attached to her father and his lengthy absences were very hard for her.
One time, when he needed to go, she refused to let him. He stood with his suitcase and she grasped his sirtuk and cried and said, “You’re not going! All the children have a father and I also want a father!” She cried and he cried but he had to go and continue traveling from place to place to spread Judaism and Chassidus.
THE BORDER THAT MOVED
Later, when the Rebbe MH”M took over the Chabad leadership, he was greatly mekarev him and appointed him as director of Kollel Chabad in Yerushalayim. In this role, he built mosdos chinuch and helped people with loans. He raised money for the kollel in America too. My grandfather would go to Kollel Chabad four times a day on foot, because he did not have the money for a taxi and it was out of the question for him to take public funds.
My grandfather founded the first mosdos in Yerushalayim, Shikun Chabad and Yeshivas Toras Emes.
One Shabbos, as he rested, he suddenly got up and said – I just had an idea to build a Chabad neighborhood. My grandmother said: How will you build a neighborhood? You need money for that!
He had no money but he did have plenty of desire and enthusiasm, and it was with that that he went to the Rassco construction company and asked them to build Shikun Chabad. The people there respected him and said: R’ Slonim, sell the apartments and then pay us. And that is how it began. They brought tractors and started leveling the area and my grandfather began looking for potential buyers, but since the area was near the Jordanian border, in Tel Arza, he was afraid that people would not want to buy apartments there. He told the Rebbe his apprehensions and the Rebbe said that by the time the apartments were ready, the border would move further away, and that is exactly what happened. After the Six Day War the border was far away.
When Rebbetzin Chana passed away, my grandfather and grandmother went to buy toys, baby carriages, and dolls and they started Gan Chana for girls. The following year they added a grade until Beis Chana was opened. All the mosdos were founded thanks to his ideas.
CHASSIDUS THAT TOUCHED DEEPLY
My grandfather had heart problems and the doctor said he needed to rest. I would guard the door so he wouldn’t be disturbed, but it didn’t help. If someone came, he would immediately get up. I asked him – when will you rest? You need to rest!
He said, “Oy Sima, I’ll have enough time to rest …”
He thought only of how he could help another Jew.
My mother grew up in such a home, which was very central and attracted everyone and there was constant traffic even though they had only two rooms, an inner and an outer room. But whatever was needed, was there.
I was a bas bayis (a member of the household) there and received all the inspiration for Chassidus in that house, which was suffused with love for the Rebbe and Chassidus. When I was five, my grandfather would ask my brothers and me: What will you be when you grow up, a Chassid or a Misnaged? We knew that if we said “Chassid,” he would be moved to tears and would hug and kiss us. From a very young age we knew that to be a Chassid is the best possible thing.
We were three children: Sholom Dovber Wolpo, Menachem Wolpo (a shliach in Netanya), and myself. I saw such mesirus nefesh by my brothers. We got this from my grandfather to whom every word of the Rebbe was something he carried out immediately. This had an influence on our souls.
When I was a little girl, I would sleep at their house on Friday nights. I would wake up at about five in the morning and hear the door open. My grandfather was going to the mikva. It made no difference to him whether it was raining or snowing or hailing outside. Then he would return. I lay in bed. First, he would wash my hands six times and laugh. Wash and laugh. He was such a happy person and he wanted to make us happy. Everything was done with laughter and joy; even hand washing.
Then he would sit at the table and review the parsha, Shnayim Mikra V’Echad Targum and learn a maamer Chassidus. Then he would take a T’hillim, get up and stand near the pictures of the Rebbeim hanging on the wall, and he would walk from picture to picture and say that Rebbe’s chapter of T’hillim and cry and the tears would flow. I was a little girl. I watched all this and it went deep into my heart.
CONTINUING THE TRADITION OF GIVING
That was the kind of home my mother grew up in. A home of chesed, a home in which you lived for others and you saw this in all aspects of her life including when she grew up and married. My mother had exceptionally good middos. She helped everyone in every which way. She convinced one to observe family purity, she helped another with shalom bayis, she convinced another to enlarge her family, and strengthened another in prayer. She was all about influencing others and being a role model.
My mother was very wise. She was a teacher and was involved in education. Her house was always open and she welcomed guests very nicely. The entire family loved to visit Doda Yaffa because being with her was an experience. Her heart was open to all.
I had a cousin who did not have children. He and his wife grieved greatly over this and my mother grieved along with them. Erev Pesach they came to us and my mother blessed them that the following year they should come with a baby carriage. And that is what happened! Her blessing was fulfilled and the following year they became the happy parents of a baby boy.
That cousin told the following story at her funeral: That son who was born from her blessing grew up and married, and he too did not have children. He told his son and daughter-in-law what happened with him and they decided they had to go to Doda Yaffa for a blessing. She blessed them and they too had a child.
My mother was very clean and organized. Rebbetzin Menucha Rochel said that where there is order and cleanliness there is purity and holiness. It was Pesach all year by my mother and there was incredible order. It’s impossible to describe how clean and organized her house was maintained at all times.
WHAT CAUSED PRESIDENT NAVON’S NEPHEWS TO BECOME BAALEI T’SHUVA
There is an interesting story about how thanks to my parents an entire family became baalei t’shuva. My parents lived in Yerushalayim next to the Navon family, nephews of President Yitzchok Navon. The father was a manager at the Discount Bank and my father was also a manager at the Discount Bank. They lived in the neighborhood for thirty years and were very friendly, even though my parents were religious and they were not. They stemmed from holy stock, from the holy Ohr HaChayim, but they did not know nor keep anything related to Judaism.
They had a son and a daughter. When the son Yossi was studying in a secular high school he once left a note for his parents: “If you want me to be happy, connect me with Chabad.” His father asked his brother, President Yitzchok Navon, to use his connections and help them. He spoke with Shloimke Maidanchek who went to their home and spoke with the boy and took him to the Chabad yeshiva in Tzfas. That is how Yossi became a Chassidishe bachur.
One time, when his parents weren’t at home, he knocked at my parents’ door. My mother welcomed him in and took the opportunity to ask, “Yossi, tell me the truth. What caused you to suddenly become a Chassidishe bachur? How did it happen?”
He said, “I looked at your husband. I looked at the children. I looked at the chinuch, and wanted to be like you.”
When my father heard this he was very touched because when he was by the Rebbe, the Rebbe gave him a bottle of mashke and said, “This is for your mekuravim.” My father did not know who the Rebbe meant.
My father was very particular to always learn Torah, day and night. Even during the years that he worked at the bank he was always particular about learning, and at night he learned endlessly. He had received a Litvishe chinuch. He descends from the Vilna Gaon and my mother was from a Chabad family. My father was very connected to the Rebbe. Every word of the Rebbe was holy of holies to him and he asked the Rebbe about everything that came up, but since he received a Litvishe chinuch, he did not personally go to influence others.
So when Yossi Navon said this, my father began to cry. He took out the bottle he had received from the Rebbe and drank a l’chaim with Yossi and there was a lot of emotion in the house.
Yossi continued learning in yeshiva and became of age to marry. My mother was good at shidduchim. She heard about a baalas t’shuva who wanted to marry a religious boy and thought she sounded right for Yossi. The girl, today Chumi Navon of Tzfas, sat with my mother for three and a half hours. They became friends and the shidduch got underway.
The story isn’t over yet. Yossi’s sister Edna had a son and a daughter. One day, the girl Lital looked at her Uncle Yossi and saw what was happening there in the house and it appealed to her. She went to my mother on Shabbos and told her that she too was drawn to Chassidus. She then wanted to leave but my mother said she should wait for Havdala. She stayed for Havdala and my mother gave her many blessings and encouraged her. Lital became a baalas t’shuva, went to Machon Alte and Ohr Chaya, and became a Lubavitcher. She also established a Chassidic home. Lital’s brother also became a baal t’shuva. He is married and the couple is very religiously observant.
My mother was an educator. First she worked in an elementary school and then she taught adults. She had a very warm personality, heartfelt and very Chassidic. She gave herself to others graciously. She was very, very good to her family, to the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. My father passed away six years ago and I convinced my mother to come and live with me. She lived in my home for five and a half years and passed away on 10 Teves at the age of 91 and a half. During the Shiva her neshama was in the house and it was a great privilege to tell of her good deeds. I still cannot make my peace with her passing. May her merits stand by her and may she be speedily returned to us.
THE MERIT
That she lived with us in her final years was a tremendous privilege for me. At my father’s funeral, I promised him I would take care of my mother and I tried as best as I could to do so. After my father passed away, my husband immediately thought about how to set up a place for her in our home so she would feel comfortable. We closed off half a porch and prepared everything so she would have a space to herself.
We thought she would come every Shabbos but she did not want to hear of the idea of leaving her home. However, little by little, she came for Shabbos and sometimes I went to her.
After she fell the first time, I begged her to come stay with us. She realized it was necessary and she moved in.
My husband gave her the royal treatment. Although he was very busy, he would find a few minutes every day to sit with her, tell her things, and ask how she felt and what was going on with her.
When my husband passed away, she immediately sensed it. My brother and sister-in-law went to her and she immediately asked, “Why did you come in the middle of the day?” They said my husband did not feel well and had a heart attack. “Where is Sima?” she asked. “Here, downstairs,” they said. Then she said to them, “Don’t tell me anymore. I understand everything.” I went up to her room only a few hours later because I couldn’t bear to face her.
SIGNS OF FAREWELL
My mother was entirely lucid until the end, and she passed away “gently in the night.” There were things she said to others but not to me because she did not want to upset me.
She felt she was going to leave this world and she asked to say goodbye to the children. For example, she spoke to my niece and said to her, “I have a wonderful, dear family; it is so hard to part from them.” She did not talk that way to me, because she knew how heartbroken I was and did not want to add to my sorrow.
GETTING BACK TO WORK
Rebbetzin Sima Ashkenazi is on the staff of Beis Rivka and has taught generations of girls and kallos.
“My work is a shlichus of the Rebbe and I make every effort to do it well. I went back to work after my husband passed away, even though I felt at the time that it was the end of the world. Now too, sorrow after sorrow in such a short time. I tell Hashem I will not break. The inner battle is very hard. However, I also see the chesed within the g’vuros. This past year, after the passing of my husband, Hashem did me a kindness in that He gave me my mother who was in my house and was at my side constantly. Now, it will definitely be much harder.
“I plan on returning to school and to my other activities. I even committed to doing more. I will also go back to mivtzaim every Sunday as I used to do. Boruch Hashem, throughout the week I have shiurim, teaching, and guidance to do.
“We have also opened a consultation office to provide guidance in family matters here in the office where my husband saw people over the years. This counseling will be l’ilui nishmaso.”
Throughout our conversation, I hear noise in the house. The rebbetzin has three grandchildren from abroad living with her and learning in the yeshiva in Lud. She is their surrogate mother who takes care of all their needs. On “off Shabbasos” from yeshiva, they are with her.
FROM THE MOUNTAIN
TO THE PEOPLE
I asked the Rebbetzin where she gets her strength and she said, “From the Rebbe!” After thinking it over she added, “I ask the Rebbe about everything. Yesterday there was supposed to be a meeting of the administration of N’shei Chabad. When they called me I said I had just come from the cemetery and that I did not even know what they were talking about. I felt I just couldn’t and wouldn’t go to the meeting, but my conscience wasn’t quiet. I wrote to the Rebbe and the answer I opened to was about how involvement in communal matters would bring the good. The Rebbe wrote that we are shaping the spiritual aspect of Kfar Chabad and it’s a great privilege and he would mention all of us at the holy gravesite and blessings to all the members.
“I took the Igros Kodesh with me to the meeting and read the answer and all were amazed.
“Then Mrs. Shoshana Rottenberg brought me a ticket for the Shifra and Puah evening, and asked me to come and open the event. Anything like this demands great inner courage and fortitude. I did not consider going, both because of the music and also because of the emotional difficulty in showing up in a dignified fashion to such a respectable venue; it’s hard. Here too, I felt that without receiving strength from the Rebbe I would not be able to manage, and I wrote to the Rebbe about how hard it is for me and do I need to go. In the answer that I opened to the Rebbe wrote about how great a farbrengen is and how great it is for me to participate in it, and how much something like this provides an abundance of blessings.
“I wrote to the Rebbe about how grieved I am and how hard it is for me and what else do I need to do for things to be good. The Rebbe wrote about how communal matters and personal matters are interconnected, and the more I would be involved in communal matters, the more it would affect my personal life, and that it should all be done with joy.”
NOT ANOTHER CANDLE
It is not an easy time. I start the day with a lot of tears. I’m not a superwoman. I put in every effort. I could have decided that I am taking a vacation from everything and pulled the covers over my head, but I think of what the Rebbe said, that Hashem gives a person a test so that he will withstand it.
I remember coming back from my mother’s funeral and arranging places for everyone. I went to see that everything was as it should be and then I noticed my husband’s candle. I suddenly remembered that I need to light another candle… It wasn’t even a year yet since the passing of my husband and now there is another candle. The children and grandchildren all say, “Savta, be strong. We are looking to you and you are the only one who gives us strength.” I know that I have to be strong and pray for the immediate Geula.
***
“The Rebbe does not give us the option to be sad,” I concluded, and the rebbetzin concurs, “That’s why we have a Rebbe, so we can get guidance and encouragement.
“Toward the end of the year of mourning for my husband, one of my daughters said it was hard for her, as compared to the boys because they preserve the memory with the recitation of Kaddish and other mourning practices while she only had a candle. She said it was hard for her to part with the candle, because that was her only connection to her father.
“I told her, ‘You shouldn’t ask Hashem for things like that. We need to know what to ask for; for Moshiach, and not give Hashem ideas about candles …’”
What we are awaiting is the great light that will shine upon us very soon and bring true salvation to us all.