Is the Tam a sincere simple person or someone who plays dumb? * Is the Chacham a “talmid chacham” or a wiseguy? * Probably, the “One Who does not know how to Ask” knows good and well about business and politics, so what happens to him on Pesach? * Is it possible that the main recounting of the Hagada is directed at the Wicked Son? * Understanding the depth behind the Four Sons who sit at the seder table, based on sichos and maamarim of the Rebbeim.
By Rabbi Yosef Yitzchok Segal
Maggid Shiur and Mashpia in the Chabad yeshiva in Natzrat Ilit
The Four Sons (painting by Ahuva Klein)Every year, when we sit down to the seder, we read about the Four Sons to whom the Torah responds. We all know how to recite them by heart, but did we ever think about why the Sons are positioned in this order? In the Torah, they appear in a different order than in the Hagada. Why?
Logic dictates that the first son the Torah should talk about is the Chacham, or at least the Tam, so it’s very surprising that the first son the Torah talks about is none other than the Wicked Son. Even before leaving Egypt, in Parshas Bo (12:26), when Moshe Rabbeinu commands the elders of Israel with the mitzva of Pesach, he relates the question of the Wicked Son, “And it will be, when your children say to you: what is this service to you?”
In Parshas B’Shalach, written right after their leaving Egypt, Hashem says to Moshe, “And relate to your son on that day, saying, because of this, Hashem did for me when I left Egypt (ibid 13:8). There is no question here because it refers to the One Who does not know how to Ask. Right after him is the turn of the Tam, “and it will be when your son asks tomorrow, saying: ‘What is this?’” (ibid 13:14).
The Chacham appears for the first time in the book of D’varim, in Parshas VaEschanan, where Moshe says to the Jewish people, “When your son asks you tomorrow, saying: what are the testaments and statutes and laws that Hashem our G-d commanded you?” (6:20).
Thus, the order of the Sons in the Torah is completely different than the order of the sons in the Hagada. Why is this so?
THE HAGADA OF THE WICKED SON
If we had to list the Sons in the order of their importance, we would say the Chacham is first, followed by the Tam, the One Who does not know how to Ask, and the Wicked Son. This fits with what is explained in Kabbala that the Four Sons correspond to the Four Worlds, the Chacham-Atzilus, the Tam-Beria, the One Who does not know how to Ask-Yetzira, and the Wicked Son-Asiya.
Furthermore, the Four Sons as they appear in the Hagada correspond to the Four Cups: the first cup, i.e., Kadesh, corresponds to the Chacham; the second cup, i.e., Maggid, corresponds to the Wicked Son; the third cup, i.e., Beirach, corresponds to the Tam; and the fourth cup, i.e., Hallel, corresponds to the One Who does not know how to Ask. It turns out then, that the cup over which we fulfill the mitzva of “and you shall relate to your son,” corresponds to the Wicked Son!
In order to understand this, we have to have a deeper understanding of the characteristics of the Four Sons, their good points and deficiencies, what are the questions and how the answer responds to the question.
WHAT IS THE CHACHAM?
The quality of the Chacham is obvious; he delves into Torah and wants to understand every detail in depth. But there is a deficiency here too. He asks “why” too much and every “why” is klipa. Another deficiency he has is “whoever is greater than his fellow, his yetzer is greater,” and so the Chacham has to be more careful than others about not falling into the clutches of the evil inclination.
The Rebbe Rayatz said that when the Rebbe Rashab would get to the section that speaks of the Chacham, he would talk at length, disparagingly, about the maskilim (the Chassidic use of the term refers to those more focused on the intellectual grasp of Chassidus, rather than the avoda of Chassidus), because too much intellectualizing can lead a person astray to the deepest abyss, heaven forbid.
THE FOUR SONS OF R’ SHAUL
The mashpia, R’ Shaul Brook, would compare the Four Sons to the downhill slide of the generations, thus:
“There was a father, a Chassid, who was particular about all aspects of Judaism and of course, put on both Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam t’fillin. The Chassid’s son was a ‘Chacham’ who said, why get involved in the dispute between Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam? I will put on only what I am obligated to do.
“The Chacham’s son was Wicked. He said, why get involved in disputes between my father and grandfather – I won’t put on either kind of t’fillin! The Wicked one’s son was a Tam. He wondered why in his grandfather’s house they observed Shabbos and ate kosher while in his father’s house they didn’t. But the Tam’s son did not know how to ask anything since in both the homes of his father and grandfather there was no Jewish observance.”
R’ Shaul would conclude his story by saying where “chochmos” could lead. Today, we can add that the son of the One Who does not know how to Ask is the “Fifth Son,” who comes to the Chabad House and ultimately goes back to putting on Rashi and Rabbeinu Tam t’fillin, just like his great-grandfather!
E-CHHH-AAA-DDD RASHA
The Wicked Son knows the truth and puts forth arguments against it. In Chassidus it does not discuss the Wicked Son much, mainly the positive potential he has to discover the pintele Yid within him.
Rabbi Zevin, in his Treasury of Chassidic Tales, tells of the tzaddik, Rabbi Tzvi Elimelech of Dinov, who would walk through the streets of Dinov before beginning his seder and listen to how simple Jews conducted the seder. One time, he heard one of them stretch out the word, “E-chhh-aaa-ddd Chacham, E-chhh-aaa-ddd Rasha,” like we extend the word “Echad” when reciting the Shma.
The tzaddik said that this simple Jew took the Four Sons and made a holy prayer out of them like the Shma, even out of the Wicked Son!
As it says, “Yisroel, even though he sins, remains a Yisroel.” The word “Yisroel” is an acronym for (in Hebrew) “there are six hundred thousand letters in the Torah.” Just like when a letter is missing in a Torah scroll, it is invalid, so too, if one Jew is, G-d forbid, disconnected from the Jewish people, it adversely affects all the Jewish people. However, someone who still has his letter in the Torah has the strength to overcome that estrangement.
DISCOVERY BY A NAZI SYMPATHIZER
A story that illustrates the extent to which no Jew is irrevocably lost is the story of Csanád Szegedi who led a Neo-Nazi party in Hungary. He preached anti-Semitism and often appeared in the Hungarian media with vitriolic anti-Semitic speeches.
At a certain point, he made the shocking discovery that he himself is Jewish. His grandmother was a Holocaust survivor and after everything she went through, she decided to disconnect from the Jewish people to the point that even when she married, she did not tell her husband that she was Jewish.
Csanád felt strongly about researching the Judaism that he now belonged to. He had always spoken about how Jews run the world and he also wanted to be part of the success of the Jewish people.
When he went to shul for the first time, they wanted to throw him out. Why should an anti-Semite be allowed in shul? But after Rabbi Oberlander was convinced of his sincerity, he began to be mekarev him. Today, Csanád lives in Eretz Yisroel and lives a Jewish life.
Even within the Wicked Son lies the “Echad”; it just needs to be revealed.
WHAT IS THE TAM?
The Tam is exactly what the word means, completely sincere. His life is one of fear of heaven, “Tamim shall you be with Hashem, your G-d,” enthusiastic fulfillment of mitzvos in order to cleave to G-d, with emuna and bittul which are above reason. The Rebbe Rashab, founder of “Tomchei T’mimim,” would highly praise the attribute of “Tam.”
However, from an intellectual standpoint, his intellect functions below rationality and reason, so, for example, he cannot get into debates with the Wicked Son because he will not be successful in responding to his arguments.
WHO DID NOT MAKE ME A RAV
Jewish history in general, and stories of Chassidim in particular, are full of stories about special simple, artless Jews. Like the story of the two brothers, one of whom was a rav and the other was a simple villager. One time, the rav went to visit his brother and he saw that he looked downcast.
When he asked him why, the villager said that one of the gentile neighbors used the pot meant for the chulent and now he did not have a pot for chulent for Shabbos.
The rav immediately began rationalizing why the pot could be used, despite what happened. Suddenly, the villager exclaimed, “Boruch ata … shelo asani rav! If I would be a rav, I would also eat neveilos and treifos!”
ONE WHO DOES NOT KNOW HOW TO ASK
With a superficial glance, one might think that this son is just not bright, but the Rebbe explains that he is someone who is quite the maven when it comes to business and politics. But when it comes to Torah and mitzvos, it’s all dry and technical. He does mitzvos and shows up on Pesach, but he remains unaffected. He is not interested in understanding more and doesn’t get excited by anything. To him, the main thing is to do it and that’s all.
Although he is better than the Wicked Son, because he actually does mitzvos, inwardly his situation is worse than that of the Wicked Son. The Wicked Son attacks and opposes and this shows that he cares. The One Who does not know how to Ask is just not interested. The potential for positive change of the Wicked Son is greater than that of the Son Who does not know how to Ask.
One of the shluchim related that when he started out in shlichus, he thought that his main success in kiruv would be with traditional Jews who are warm to Judaism. With time, he saw that usually, that type of Jew was not oppositional, but neither was he interested in moving forward. It is with those who are distant, who first oppose anything to do with Judaism, with whom you can make the greatest progress. Someone who fights you shows he cares!
THE IGNORANT VERSUS THE WICKED
Another advantage that the Wicked Son has over the One Who does not know how to Ask is illustrated in the following story:
Rabbi Lau and his father-in-law, Rabbi Frankel, once met with the Transportation Minister, Mr. Dovid Remez, about the matter of shutting down public transportation in Haifa on Shabbos. The minister did not accede to their request but said, “You will yet miss us, the politicians of yesteryear, for we still know something about Judaism. The next generation won’t even understand what you’re talking about.”
When the Wicked Son decides to do t’shuva, the way is paved for him; he knows what needs to be done. But the One Who does not Know how to Ask needs to learn a lot in order to make his way in Jewish life.
WITHOUT QUESTIONS
There is a higher level of One Who does not know how to Ask, in a positive sense: serving Hashem without questions. The Rebbe Rashab highly praised this type of service.
Rabbi Nosson Berkahan once passed by the Rebbe for dollars and to get a bracha before leaving for Eretz Yisroel. The Rebbe asked him, “You’re going to Brazil?” Without thinking twice, R’ Notke said yes. The Rebbe gave him a dollar for the trip to Brazil. When he went out, he told a relative who was going to take him to the airport that the plans had changed and he was going to Brazil!
Upon arriving in Brazil, he heard about someone, the son of an acquaintance of his, who was planning on marrying a non-Jew. R’ Notke realized this was his mission there and did not let up until this plan was canceled.
This saving of a soul happened only because R’ Notke carried out what the Rebbe wanted without asking questions. The Rebbe said, and he did what the Rebbe wanted!
NEIGHBOR RELATIONS
After understanding what the Four Sons are really about, we can now understand the order. The Chacham and Wicked Son are neighbors, for the benefit of both of them. The Chacham is the only one who can influence the Wicked Son to change his ways, while the Wicked Son reminds the Chacham that “sin crouches at the doorway,” and if he doesn’t watch out, he can also end up wicked. Actually, the positive influence of the Wicked Son is the best defense so the Chacham does not fall into the net of his yetzer.
THE NIGHT OF THE SEDER
The Torah addresses first and foremost the Wicked Son. The cup of wine over which we recite the Hagada we ascribe specifically to the Wicked Son, to teach us that when you see a Jew in such a condition, you need to give him the fullest attention, in order to extract him from his state.
As the Rebbe related, that he once asked the Rebbe Rayatz if the approach of specifically trying to be mekarev those who are not yet observant of Torah and mitzvos, is the correct one. The Rebbe Rayatz answered that just like a “special needs” child in the family receives special attention, so too a Jew with “special needs” should be given special attention. Obviously, we must not forget about the needs of the other sons, but the Chacham is written last in the Torah, because we first need to focus on the more problematic cases.
PROBLEMS AND SOLUTIONS
Each of the Sons expresses his problematic issues in the framing of his question, and in our answer we provide him with the appropriate solution:
Chacham – the Wise Son: He argues that he needs to understand all of the details, fully and clearly, “What are the testaments and the statutes and the laws?” To him, we answer that along with all of the intellect, there also has to be the element of “above intellect;” accepting the yoke of heaven and nullification of self, and this is what will protect him from descending to the level of the Wicked Son. “Tell him according to the halachos of Pesach, one may not finish eating after the Pesach afikoman.” The message is about how “halachos” must be followed with acceptance of the yoke, and “afikoman” is a contraction of two Aramaic words, “afiku-koman,” remove and nullify your stature and self-absorption.
Rasha – the Wicked Son: He comes to the Seder table and feels like he is not part of it, “to you and not to him.” The response to him is, “if he were there he would not have been redeemed.” Only “there,” in Mitzrayim/Egypt would he not have been redeemed, but now, in the True and Complete Redemption, he also will eventually be redeemed. This is because “Echad Rasha,” the “Echad” – the “One Above,” is present in his heart as well. This answer is in order to make him realize that he also is very much a part of it.
Tam – the Simple Son: When he hears the story of the exodus from Mitzrayim, this causes him great excitement and an intense desire to also leave Mitzrayim and to witness miracles and wonders. He wants to know, “what is this,” how does one achieve this? The guidance that he receives is, “With strength of hand, Hashem took us out of Mitzrayim, from the house of slaves;” Hashem had to “exert” himself, as it were, to have the attribute of kindness overpower the attribute of judgment and to calculate the endpoint despite the fact that “these and those are idol worshipers,” in order to take us out of Egypt. Similarly, a Jew who exerts himself to overpower his own internal limitations merits to go out of his personal “Mitzrayim” and limitations, with miracles and wonders!
Sh’eino Yodei’a Lish’ol: He arrives at the Seder with no complaints and no aspirations, ready to do whatever is necessary without involving his mind or his heart. But that is when “you open for him!” It is time to open him up to a new world, a world in which it is “because of this, Hashem did for me when I left Mitzrayim,” “because of this – when the Pesach, Matzo, and Maror are placed before you.” Pesach, to jump or skip, is meant to awaken him to the need to jump and skip from joy of doing a mitzva; Matzo, bread that did not rise, empowers him to be permeated with faith and self-nullification; Maror, bitterness, is to feel the bitterness of intense desire to leave his current spiritual state. Then he too will merit, “Hashem did for me when I left Mitzrayim,” an “awakening from above” to extract him from the confines of his limitations and boundaries.
THE YEARNING AND THE HOPE
Our goal is to raise up all of the sons, from the Wicked Son and above, to a higher plane. Even the “fifth son,” the one who does not come to the Seder at all, also has to be made to join in the exodus from Mitzrayim. The Rebbe refuses to give up on even a single Jew; the entire Jewish people together must leave Mitzrayim, once and for all, in the True and Complete Redemption, b’karov mamash!
(Edited for publication for Beis Moshiach from a class given in Tomchei T’mimim, Natzrat Illit.)