A REGULAR IN THE HOME OF THE REBBE AND REBBETZIN * Part 2

For years, he was in the Rebbe’s home every evening and became like a part of the family. When he married, his family had the privilege of being treated like family by Rebbetzin Chaya Mushka. This connection between the Rebbetzin and the children of Reb Yaakov Tzvi Holtzman continued through the years.* In a first ever interview, R’ Yaakov Tzvi Holtzman and his sons, R’ Yosef Yitzchok, R’ Uri, and R’ Noach, share their personal recollections of the special treatment they received from the Rebbe and Rebbetzin. * Part 2 of 2     

WE WERE LIKE GRANDCHILDREN TO THE REBBETZIN

When the Holtzman children were born, the Rebbetzin showed her concern for and interest in their growth and development. When the sons got older, they traveled to New York to learn in yeshiva, and just as though they were grandchildren they too became regular guests in the home on President Street.

At this point, the focus of the conversation shifted to the son R’ Yosef Yitzchok, who shared many of his personal memories. R’ Yosef Yitzchok Holtzman is the shliach and rabbi of the massive SUNY Downstate medical complex, which includes the hospital and university, and is also the rabbi of the Chabad community of East Flatbush.

“I was in the home of the Rebbe and Rebbetzin many times as a bachur in yeshiva. I would call to say hello, and she would say to me, ‘You want to pay a visit? Come for a visit.’ When I would arrive, there were generally refreshments on the table, usually pineapple juice and something else. Over time, I began to feel heimish in the house and I would walk around freely. I remember that I once came to the sukka that stood by the exit from the kitchen, behind the house. I entered the sukka, and there was some leftover food and cake on the table, and I ate some of it. It was only afterwards that I realized that this was the leftovers that the Rebbe himself left over.

“When my brothers came to the United States in later years, I was already a veteran in relation to them. When we all came to visit her, she said to me, ‘You feel comfortable here; take care of your brothers. Go to the refrigerator and take something out for everyone.’”

Were you ever in the house when the Rebbe suddenly showed up?

“No.

“I remember that once, as a bachur, I came to her house one winter day without a coat. The Rebbetzin pointed out to me in a respectful way that, ‘Here it is not Europe. Here it is cold. You need to wear a coat, otherwise you will catch cold.’

“There was one time when I actually got sick. Nu, my parents live far away in Europe, so whom should I call? The Rebbetzin. I called her and told her that I was not feeling well. She asked that I come or send a bachur to take some medication from her for me. I asked one of my friends, but he was too scared to go. In the end, I sent a certain French bachur, who to this day thanks me for the privilege.

“Once I came with my parents for a visit. At the time, I was eighteen years old. She asked about my age, and my parents said that I was eighteen. I corrected them and said that I was eighteen and a half. The Rebbetzin said to my father, ‘Look at him. We try as much as possible to lessen our age and be younger, and he already wants to rush forward.’”

What else do you recollect of your conversations with the Rebbetzin?

“Whenever she spoke about the Rebbe, she said, ‘Mein man’ (my husband).

“Once, I worked up the courage and asked her if the picture of the Rebbe and the Rebbe Rayatz playing chess was real, since there was a rumor going around that the picture was not real. The Rebbetzin in her regal fashion did not answer directly; she just said to me, ‘In our family they played chess.’

“On another occasion, I asked her if she was really the one who wrote the “In Nature’s Wonderland” column in Talks and Tales, because there was such a rumor that the Rebbetzin was the writer. The Rebbetzin responded that ‘Not everything that people say do you have to believe.’ (Later, the columns were published in book form under the name of Rabbi Nissan Mindel.)

“One time I came to visit in the library. As is known, from the year 5742, the Rebbe and Rebbetzin stayed there on Shabbos and Yom Tov. I would come, knock on the door, and come in to visit on Shabbos day. On that occasion, the Rebbetzin said to me, ‘Make Kiddush, and eat something.’ I saw a wine decanter on the table; I am almost certain it was made of silver but it might have been crystal. Suddenly, I caught myself and realized that this was probably the bottle and Kiddush cup of the Rebbe. I felt very uncomfortable and said to myself, ‘I’m going to make Kiddush now and the Rebbe will come in soon.’

“As though she read my thoughts, she said to me, ‘What are you thinking that my husband… Don’t worry.’ She let me know that there was no cause for concern, and so I made Kiddush. Afterward, when I told my father what happened, he said to me, ‘What do you think, why was there a silver decanter there? Certainly it was meant for the Rebbe.’”

Did she ever tell you things about the Rebbe?

“No. One time I asked her if there would be a farbrengen. In those years, there wasn’t a farbrengen every Shabbos and people would only find out for sure after Musaf. If the Rebbe signaled that there would be a farbrengen, the gabbai would announce it; otherwise he would announce the time for Mincha. However, I tried to be a wise guy and I asked her. She answered me cleverly, ‘What did they announce in shul?’

“You have to understand that for us she was the Rebbetzin, but also a wonderful grandmother. We felt very comfortable with her. Once, I told her that I played chess in yeshiva; she encouraged me and said, ‘That is good, that is nice, you need to refresh yourself a bit.’ She always expressed an interest as to who my friends were in yeshiva and how they treated me.

“At the same time, she was the Rebbetzin and we always obeyed her. My sister was once conversing with her and told her that she was going to study in Eretz Yisroel the following year, and the Rebbetzin said, ‘There is a good school here in New York, Beis Rivka.’ For us, those few words were enough, and she changed her plans on the spot and decided to go to school in New York.”

I heard that you once took from her one of the Rebbe’s shirts…

“Yes, that was before my chasuna, and I asked her to lend me a shirt of the Rebbe to wear under the chuppa. She went to the clothes closet, took out a shirt and gave it to me. Since I asked for the shirt on loan, when I returned to New York after the chasuna, I went to visit her to return the shirt.

“My brother Uri, before he got married, also requested a shirt. However, he told her, ‘Not like my brother Yitzchok, I want to keep it,’ and she allowed him to take it.”

You must know that the Rebbe once said that when you receive something from the Rebbe, you don’t give it back…

“Since I told her originally that I would return it, I did in fact return it. I wanted to feel right with my conscience.”

Once, the telephone rang in the house, and a young Yosef Yitzchok felt comfortable enough to pick up the phone. On the other end of the line was the Rebbetzin’s sister, the wife of Rashag. She expressed her amazement that someone else picked up the phone, and she asked who it was. “When I said my name, she gave it to me over the head!”

In conclusion, R’ Yosef Yitzchok offered up a special story that he has never told before, a story that does not cease to amaze him to this very day:

“One day, I saw a thick siddur near the telephone in the living room. I remember that at one point the Rebbetzin was walking around, and I opened the siddur and saw written inside many lines of crowded handwriting. I decided to read and review over and over in my mind what was written there in order to remember it. Throughout the entire conversation that followed, I reviewed quietly to myself what was written in the siddur so as not to forget. However, when I walked out of the house, it all flew out of my head on the spot. I could not recall a single thing. I do not even have a general recollection of what it was about; I only know that something was written there.”

“WHEN WILL THEY LET MY HUSBAND GO FREE?”

At this point, we will give the floor to R’ Uri Holtzman, an activist and member of the city council of Beitar Ilit, and a shliach of the Rebbe to Geneva, Switzerland:

“We had the privilege of visiting the Rebbe’s house every time that we came to the Rebbe. During Tishrei, we would usually go in at least three times: when we first arrived, Erev Yom Kippur to get lekach, and at the end of Tishrei to take our leave. There were occasions that we went in many more times, based on the request and invitation of the Rebbetzin.

“The practice was that Abba would call the Rebbetzin and inform her that we were planning to make the trip, and she would wish a successful trip and say, ‘When you arrive here, please inform me.’ And so, when we would arrive in New York, Abba would call again and she would tell him when to come for a visit.

“One year, when I was a kid of about seven years old, when we went in to say goodbye at the end of the month of Tishrei, I asked the Rebbetzin, ‘We were here a few times this month, and I see that you have a big house of a few floors. You must have a number of children, and I would like to meet them and play with them.’”

R’ Yosef Yitzchok interjects, “That was not you who asked, it was I who asked, albeit in a more sensitive way.”

As is the way of children, even after they have grown, an argument ensues about what exactly happened, how it happened and who asked. The passage of years does have its effect, but R’ Uri does not back down. “It is possible that this is something that we children discussed among ourselves, and the question came out as a result of our conversation. However, I distinctly remember the pinch that I got from Ima for that question.”

So what happened?

“I did not understand what terrible thing I had done to get a pinch and such a harsh look from Ima, since I had asked a seemingly normal question.

“The Rebbetzin was silent for about a minute, which seemed to me like an eternity, and then she responded, ‘Were you in 770?’

“I answered, ‘Yes.’

“The Rebbetzin continued, ‘Did you see people there?’

“Again I said, ‘Yes.’

“The Rebbetzin then said, ‘Those people are my children.’

“To which I asked, ‘But there are so many people there, how could they all be your children?’ At this point Ima intervened, ‘If the Rebbetzin says so, then that is exactly the way it is.’ The Rebbetzin looked at me in silence, and nodded her head two or three times in accord with what my mother had said.

“This story is with me all the time. The feeling that whoever walks into 770 becomes a child of the Rebbe and Rebbetzin is in my eyes the equivalent of the saying that ‘whoever ate the kasha of Tomchei T’mimim,’ etc.”

Do you have any other stories that you recall with the Rebbetzin?

“A few good years later, when I was already a bachur in yeshiva, during our visit on Erev Yom Kippur, she inquired about what was going on in 770. Abba told her about the Rebbe distributing lekach. She inquired about the length of the line, and then she said, ‘When will they let my husband go free?’

“When I heard this, I was shaken. Obviously, the following year, I did not have the nerve to stand on line for lekach. I just took a small piece from someone who had passed through the line, and I hurried with my parents to the Rebbetzin. Among the first questions the Rebbetzin asked, in inquiring about our welfare, she suddenly turned to me and asked, ‘Did you take lekach from my husband?’

“I gave some response to avoid answering directly, as I was totally unprepared for such an unexpected question which she had never asked me in prior years. At that point, the Rebbetzin encouraged me to run quickly back to 770 before the line ended.

“A few years later, I came as a bachur for Tishrei by myself. I called the Rebbetzin, and she wished blessings upon me, but she did not invite me to come for a visit. A week later, Abba also arrived to be with the Rebbe. In response to his question, I told him that I had not yet visited the Rebbetzin because I was not invited. Abba called the Rebbetzin, and at the end of the conversation she extended an invitation, but she requested that we enter through the front door (not the usual way we would enter through the sukka porch).

“When we arrived, R’ CheSeD Halberstam opened the door for us. My father reacted with surprise over the change, since the regular routine was that the Rebbetzin herself would open the door, and there were never before any assistants present during our visits.

“We entered, and we found the Rebbetzin already sitting in her place, again not as usual. During the conversation, we noticed that there was some cutlery missing, and Abba suggested that he go to the kitchen to bring some, and he added with a smile, ‘I am familiar with the place.’

“The Rebbetzin immediately reacted strongly, ‘No. CheSeD is here, that is his job.’ Our surprise was even greater to hear such unusual verbal expressions from her. The terms ‘no’ and ‘that is his job,’ were in stark contrast to her gentility and regal mode of speech.

“When we stood up to leave, the Rebbetzin blessed us and wished us well, as she was wont to do, but she remained sitting in her place. As we exited, I happened to notice with a glance that there was a walker in the kitchen (the assistant had not hidden it well enough), and then we understood that she did not want us to notice any weakness or problem.

“That was the Rebbetzin, totally regal, complete dignity and refinement…”

R’ Yosef Yitzchok adds, “Your story reminded me that the Rebbetzin would always speak to us in the formal plural (Yiddish), ‘Ir,’ a term of respect. Even as a small child, from the very first time, she always addressed me in that way.”

WARM CONVERSATIONS ABOUT EVERYDAY LIFE

R’ Noach Holtzman is a familiar figure to most people in Crown Heights. He has a phenomenal memory and waxes quite nostalgic when recalling the visits with the Rebbetzin:

“I remember that in 5742, I came to the United States for the first time. I was 17 years old. I came for a visit to the Rebbetzin with my brother Yosef Yitzchok, who had learned in 770 a few years before me. He was already a veteran. She said to him, ‘You are familiar with the house, go take something from the kitchen and serve.’

“On another occasion, I said that I could take ice cream myself and she did not need to bother, and she responded cleverly, ‘When people take themselves, they are embarrassed and do not take enough.’

“There was a visit when she offered me tea with milk. I said to her, ‘That is English tea,’ and she responded, ‘By us, we call it Russian tea.’ I also remember a visit on Pesach, when she offered me a cup of tea with sugar, which I of course declined, but I made a note to myself that although in the house of the Rebbeim they did not use sugar on Pesach, they did have sugar for guests.

“Once, Abba missed his flight to Belgium, and he called me and asked me to inform her by phone that he had missed it. When I let her know, she said, “A shame, he will surely feel bad over missing a day of work.’ That is how sensitive she was to the feelings of others.”

Do you remember any conversations that you had together?

“There were no conversations about lofty matters. They were warm conversations about everyday life. I remember that I once came to visit her in the library building on Shabbos, and she mentioned to me that she forgot to shut the alarm in the house on President Street. I asked her if the alarm was all that effective, and she said, ‘Oho, it can be heard from a distance of two blocks.’

“I once asked her if she speaks Russian occasionally, and she responded elegantly, ‘Here in the house, Russian is spoken.’ Another time, when I asked her if she ever played chess, she answered diplomatically, ‘In general, in our family, they would play chess.’

“Generally speaking, she was very sharp and knew exactly what was going on. I remember that one time, my brother Yitzchok told her that the bachurim go to be counselors in camp during the summer, in order to air out a little from the pressure of learning. She responded, ‘As a result, they don’t learn anything all year.’ On a different occasion, we spoke about the yeshiva in Morristown, and it was clear that she knew exactly the details of the location of the yeshiva, as if she had visited there herself.

“That was the Rebbetzin, a clever woman who was well aware of what was going on, but always knew how to present things in an elegant and pleasant manner.”