MESIRUS NEFESH IN NEW YORK – IS THERE SUCH A THING?

After the Rebbe distributed the maamer “V’Ata Tetzaveh,” we wondered – does the Rebbe want us to continue living with the same mesirus nefesh that we needed in Russia? But the reality is different here and there is no need to be moser nefesh for Shabbos observance, t’filla and chinuch! * R’ Hillel Zaltzman discusses mesirus nefesh in a country and era with no religious persecution.

The Rebbe delivered the maamer “V’Ata Tetzaveh” in 5741 and published it as an edited kuntres for Purim Katan 5752. In that maamer, the Rebbe addressed the phenomenon that he saw among some of those who left Russia. Although when they lived behind the Iron Curtain they were moser nefesh for Torah and mitzvos, once they left Russia that mesirus nefesh was not that apparent.

As the Rebbe put it, “We see with a number of people that when they were in a place where there were decrees against Torah and mitzvos, they had mesirus nefesh for years. But when they came to countries where it is possible to observe Torah and mitzvos amid abundance, the mesirus nefesh they had previously is not (that) apparent. The mesirus nefesh they had previously was because there shone within them the revelation of the essence of their soul which transcends one’s revealed powers, but this did not affect a change in their revealed powers.”

At the time, after I learned the maamer, I was left with the feeling that the Rebbe was disappointed with us and was demanding to know – where is your mesirus nefesh?

At first, I did not understand it. Did the Rebbe want us to continue living with the same mesirus nefesh that we needed in Russia? The reality was different here and it was no longer necessary to be moser nefesh for Shabbos observance, t’filla or chinuch!

I spoke a lot about this with other Chassidim and I would like to share my thoughts with you in the hopes that they will find a receptive audience and will bring about good results.

MESIRUS NEFESH AROUND THE CLOCK

Starting from my early childhood and until we left Russia in the summer of 5731/1971, all my memories of Torah and mitzvos are interwoven with danger and fear and doing them with mesirus nefesh. I described this at length in my memoirs which were published in this magazine and later were published as the book Samarkand, so I will review some points of our daily life briefly.

Chinuch: In order to avoid sending us to communist schools where we would be taught heresy and be forced to desecrate Shabbos, our parents kept us under “house arrest.” For many years we did not leave the house during the daytime and only late at night could we go out and breathe the fresh air. At the same time, they had to devise clever ways of getting a melamed into the house every day to teach us Torah without being discovered by the neighbors. Picture what happens to a child who grows up within the four walls of his home without being able to go outside during the daytime, and living in an atmosphere of terror with every knock at the door.

T’filla b’tzibbur: In cities with a Jewish community there was usually an open shul, but it was run by secret police agents whose job it was to talk to whoever showed up to daven. Whoever went to shul was immediately marked and was in danger of losing his job. And whoever dared to bring his children along feared that the police would take his parental rights away and put the children into government reeducation programs. Since our parents wanted to train us in t’filla b’tzibbur, there was no choice but to arrange secret minyanim in private homes.

Every such minyan entailed many difficulties. First, they had to find a family whose members were all capable of keeping a secret and were reliable. You had to be able to enter their home without arousing the suspicions of the neighbors. For years we davened without a Torah scroll and when we somehow managed to get one, we had to contend with a new problem. We had always tried not to daven in the same house for two weeks in a row, but since when moving a Torah from place to place you need to read from it at least three times, and on Shabbos you read from it only two times, we had to daven in the same place at least two Shabbasos in a row. This raised the fear level considerably.

The time for davening was set for after the time people went to work, so we would not have to go out on the streets when people were on their way to work and arouse suspicion about where we were going. For the same reason we did not wear Shabbos clothing so as not to stand out, just clothes that were somewhat nicer. When we finally got to the house where the minyan was located, we would look to see whether someone else had just arrived to avoid going in right after him, so as not to arouse suspicion. If it happened that when we arrived we saw someone else from the minyan walking in, we would walk away in order to return five minutes later.

Mikvaos: It was officially illegal to open a mikva and so all the mikvaos were secret ones. Jews who lived in cities without a secret mikva had to travel, sometimes for a full day, in order to get to the nearest secret mikva.

These mikvaos were usually pits in the cellar that were built secretly. I was once in the home of someone in Tashkent where the entrance to the mikva was in the kitchen. When some floorboards were raised, you could see the opening to the cellar and in order to go down they had to set up a wooden ladder with which you went directly down into the water.

The water in the mikva was cold and there were no chemicals to clean it. When the water became putrid there were no electric pumps to draw out the water and they had to go down and manually remove the water. Obviously, this was very unpleasant work but it was done with chayus and love.

WE WERE BORN TO MESIRUS NEFESH

We did not feel like heroes who were moser nefesh for Torah and mitzvos. When a group of Anash from Russia went to visit the Rebbe in Tishrei 5732, the Rebbe told them to visit Rabbi Moshe Feinstein z”l (world renowned Russian posek who lived on the Lower East Side of Manhattan) and tell him about Jewish life in Russia. The Rebbe told them, “Don’t be humble about it. Tell him everything my father-in-law is accomplishing in Russia.”

When they went to R’ Feinstein he welcomed them graciously. They told him about Jewish life in Russia and the hardships they endured to be religious. He listened with increasing emotion and asked in wonder: How could you live like that?

R’ Yaakov Notik replied: Did we have a choice?

R’ Feinstein’s reaction was surprising. He burst into tears.

At first they did not understand why he was crying and only afterward did it become clear that he cried because he was moved by the mesirus nefesh needed in Russia to remain frum Jews. We, who were born into this life, were used to it.

From a young age we learned to live a double life – at home we lived as Jews and Chassidim while outside we were forced to hide everything. Many considered us heroes but it was a type of heroism that we were born into. I believe that all of you reading this would have been heroes too if you had been born into our situation.

EITHER A JEW OR A GOY

The alternative to mesirus nefesh was, G-d forbid, to live like a goy, which was the case for many Jews living in the Soviet Union. They fell under the sword of communist heresy and many of them were lost to the Jewish people.

Knowing this—that if we did not withstand communism we would end up living like goyim—aroused the essence of our souls. As the Alter Rebbe explains in Tanya that when a goy tries to force a Jew to bow to an idol, the essence of the soul is aroused and the Jew is willing to give up his life and not bow.

You could compare our situation to a person born on the battlefront. From a young age he is taught how to use a weapon and to be alert at all times. He has no other option. He is fighting for his life. If he doesn’t fight, he will die. Obviously, a person doesn’t want to die and he does all he can to avoid it.

The fact that there were Jews who despite it all gave in while we fought with all our might, we did not attribute to our personal strength but to strength instilled in us by our Rebbeim and the chinuch they gave us.

WHAT HAPPENED AFTER WE LEFT RUSSIA?

In the maamer, the Rebbe explains that when we were under communist rule we had a revelation of the essence of our souls, but in a manner which transcended our revealed powers and therefore no change occurred in the revealed powers of our souls. When we left Russia, the essence of our soul was no longer illuminated and we remained with our revealed powers which had not changed.

I will put it into my own words but first, a preface. I do not intend to justify what we did or did not do after we left Russia. I am only trying to analyze the phenomenon in the attempt at pointing out areas that can be corrected.

When we arrived in free countries, we felt like the person born on the front who was always on the alert, knowing that if he tripped up he was likely to pay with his life, who one day was able to leave the battlefield. At this point, he no longer walks around with a weapon everywhere and he stops living on high alert because nobody is seeking to harm him. Since he is no longer afraid for his life, he allows himself to become complacent.

We too were constantly tense, knowing that if we stopped the war we would lose our spiritual lives, G-d forbid. The moment we passed the Iron Curtain a change took place. We no longer needed the “weapon” of mesirus nefesh. We did not have to daven in secret shuls, we did not have to hide children so they wouldn’t be forced to attend communist schools, and we did not have to go far to find a mikva.

On an internal level, the fear of spiritual death which awaited anyone who cooperated with the communists fueled the fire of devotion to fulfill mitzvos, even at the price of mesirus nefesh. When this fear no longer existed, the need for mesirus nefesh disappeared.

MESIRUS NEFESH BEYOND THE IRON CURTAIN – SHLICHUS

When the Rebbe spoke about Russian Jews who did not continue living a life of mesirus nefesh after leaving Russia, the Rebbe did not mean the simple meaning of the term, the way we lived in Russia. Obviously, the Rebbe did not expect us to open secret minyanim and yeshivos. The Rebbe was asking for another kind of mesirus nefesh, updated for the new reality, to be his shluchim and spread Torah and Chassidus. This was the Rebbe’s disappointment, that after living for years with mesirus nefesh, he expected us to throw ourselves into spreading Torah and Judaism without any calculations. Instead, we became Americanized and thought more about gashmius and less about ruchnius.

One of the Chassidim who did what the Rebbe wanted was R’ Moshe Nisselevitz. As soon as he arrived in Eretz Yisroel he started the organization Chamah and continued the work we started behind the Iron Curtain. In my memoirs I described the meeting between R’ Moshe and some of our friends who arrived before him in Eretz Yisroel. They all went to meet him at the airport. After the initial excitement at seeing one another, R’ Moshe asked how they were and what they were busy with. They wanted to boast to him about having become successful businessmen and each one told him about his business – one manufactured blankets and another manufactured various kinds of textiles, etc. R’ Moshe was taken aback. After the shock wore off he could not help but say: Oy, for this you came to Eretz Yisroel? To make blankets and shmattes? Gevald, gevald!

Thanks to R’ Moshe I also got involved in the work of hafatza under the auspices of Chamah. At first I also found work manufacturing signs and only did work for Chamah in the evenings. When R’ Moshe urged me to work for Chamah full time, I told him that when I had my first yechidus, the Rebbe asked me what work I did in Russia. When I said I manufactured labels and signs, the Rebbe told me to continue doing that in Eretz Yisroel.

R’ Moshe’s reaction was to quote the aphorism of Chassidim in connection to yechidus: Az men gait arein vi a naar, gait men arois vi a naar (if you go in [to yechidus] like a fool, you come out like a fool), and he said: If you had insisted, in a way of chutzpa toward Heaven and asked to do communal work, the Rebbe would have guided you in that way.

At a certain point I decided to write to the Rebbe about this. I wrote what R’ Moshe said and asked explicitly, should I continue manufacturing signs or do hafatza. I received an answer on 19 Kislev 5733 in which the Rebbe underlined the words, “to work in u’faratzta” and added a handwritten note: May it be successful, I will mention it at the tziyun.

Until today, I thank Hashem for having granted me the merit to continue working for the klal.

After all is said and done, the Rebbe surely expected more from us!

REAL MESIRUS NEFESH ON SHLICHUS

Along with the simcha for the privilege I have of being involved in the Rebbe’s shlichus (including publishing my book, Samarkand, which according to feedback from readers is inspiring many to increase in Torah and yiras Shamayim) – I am alert to the fact that after all is said and done, my shlichus is limited when it comes to the need for mesirus nefesh. This is why I so admire, and am sometimes jealous of, shluchim who left their hometowns and traveled to some forsaken place for shlichus.

The mesirus nefesh of these shluchim is similar, in many respects, to the mesirus nefesh required of us in Russia. Some of them also need to fly to get to a mikva, they too cannot obtain chalav Yisroel and pas Yisroel and have to bake their own bread and travel in order to supervise milking or abstain from dairy products.

We couldn’t go to shul and there are shluchim who cannot go to shul, because in the city where they work there was never an active shul and they are starting from scratch. In the meantime, they do not have a minyan on weekdays and sometimes on Shabbos too they have to daven without a minyan.

When it comes to chinuch, many shluchim have no suitable school for their children in their city and they have to send their young children away from home so they can attend proper schools. Young children miss their homes and their parents’ hearts are torn too and this is definitely mesirus nefesh for chinuch.

One major difference between the situation of the shluchim and our situation under communism is that a shliach can take a small break and travel to 770 to rejuvenate or attend a family simcha anywhere around the globe. We did not have that opportunity and during those years we did not even dream of leaving Russia. We lived in a giant prison against our will.

DISAPPOINTMENT WITH THE CHASSIDIM

When we were in Russia and mitzvos entailed danger and fear, we were very afraid that when we got to a Chassidic community we would be on the bottom of the ladder, for we were sure that everyone was more particular than us when it came to Torah and mitzvos and were full of Chassidus and immersed in avodas Hashem. We were sure that in western countries where there was no impediment to mitzva observance, many of Anash davened with avoda, farbrenged in a truly meaningful way on every Chassidic holiday, and took with them a bottom-line resolution for self-improvement from every farbrengen and certainly implemented those resolutions being that there was no impediment…

When R’ Naftali Estulin left Russia a few years before us he corresponded with us, in code to be sure, and as far as our fears and apprehensions he wrote the aphorism, “near the sea it is dry.” We did not understand what he meant or more correctly, we did not want to understand. We did not want to believe that this was so.

In general, we did not see ourselves as worthy of being called Chassidim. As R’ Mendel Futerfas once said to me: Am I a Chassid? I playact as a Chassid! Chassidim once farbrenged and they dealt with the question – who are we? Are we Chassidim as the Rebbe wants us to be? How can we lie? Are we Misnagdim? G-d forbid! So who are we? At the end of the farbrengen they concluded that they were on the level of wanting to be Chassidim.

You can imagine how disappointed we were to see that even when the KGB did not interfere, the evil inclination had enough power to interfere with the avoda of t’filla, Torah study, and other holy matters.

MESIRUS NEFESH IS POSSIBLE, TODAY TOO

The truth is that everyone can and must operate with mesirus nefesh. Although, as I mentioned earlier, we do not need the same sort of mesirus nefesh required for underground learning and davening, there is another type of mesirus nefesh. As is explained in Chassidus, mesirus nefesh also means giving up one’s ratzon (will, desire). Negating the desire for things that have nothing to do with holiness, and creating the desire exclusively for holy things.

Whoever davens in a community shul can identify urgent things that need correcting in himself and others, and the way to correct those flaws is through mesirus ha’ratzon. When we transfer our desire for negative things that have taken root within ourselves for holy things, that is a form of mesirus nefesh.

For example, a person walks into shul and instead of standing and davening, he starts schmoozing with his friends or looks into the various booklets and pamphlets that are all over the tables (which is a phenomenon that unfortunately is not worth the benefits gained thereby, for the goal was to inspire people to Chassidus but instead, they cause a greater bittul of t’filla). When the chazan is up to Barchu or Shmoneh Esrei he is reminded that he is supposed to be part of the minyan and he jumps ahead and finishes Shmoneh Esrei ahead of the chazan…

Where does such behavior come from? After all, he considers himself a Chassid and wears a sirtuk and gartel, his family descends from Chassidim, and at farbrengens he sits and nostalgically recounts stories of Chassidim from earlier generations. But is this how Chassidim of earlier generations used to daven? Did they fulfill their obligation of Chassidus before davening by reading a line in a pamphlet?

I am no angel and I know that it is definitely not easy to refrain from talking in the middle of davening, during chazaras ha’shatz or when the Torah is being read. But speaking as someone who is well aware of the difficulty, it seems to me that when you make it your business to come before davening and learn Chassidus properly, and then you daven without talking in the middle, that is a type of mesirus nefesh.

(Another area that needs fixing is the time for Mincha. In Lubavitch it has always been the practice to daven Mincha before sunset and not to be lenient and daven until the stars come out as other Chassidic groups do. Lately, many Lubavitchers daven Mincha late and go from Mincha to Maariv.

How particular they were about this in Lubavitch we see in a story about the Rebbe Rashab (Likkutei Dibburim vol. 1) that even on 24 Teves he hurried to daven Mincha before sunset even though he was alone. He did not wait another few minutes when other Chassidim came and they could daven with a minyan!

This pertains especially to Mincha on Erev Shabbos. And here too, for someone who is used to doing this, a change for the better is a sort of mesirus nefesh.)

MESIRUS NEFESH IN THOSE THINGS THE REBBE “KOCHS” IN

In addition to “veer from evil,” of course mesirus nefesh should be expressed in “do good” too, in all areas of holiness, especially those things which the Rebbe wants us to be enthusiastic about.

This year, Shnas Hakhel, there is a need for a special arousal in carrying out the Rebbe’s instructions regarding this special year. The Rebbe wants us to convene large gatherings at every opportunity, at home, at work, and in the community. This demand of the Rebbe applies to everyone with no exception. Nobody can say I have nobody to invite, because everyone has people around him whom he can and must gather together.

On a broader scale, we need an awakening in activities to prepare the world for Moshiach which is the avoda that the Rebbe assigned to us on Yud Shvat 5711 and especially in recent years. Here too, like Hakhel, the Rebbe does not limit the shlichus to a certain demographic, but includes everyone. As the Rebbe put it, “since this is the avoda of this time, obviously it pertains to every single Jew without exception.”

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I write this with the prayer and hope that the words will impact me and the readers and that we all fulfill what the Rebbe Rayatz said to a group of young students – you should know that the main point of chinuch is that tomorrow be better than today!