NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOUR OPINION!

Today “opinions” are shutdown and cancelled, sources ignored. The only debate is “who does this guy think he is?!” * Pesach is honest about who attends and what motivates them (the Four Sons) and has us remember who is absent (the Fifth).

By Rabbi Boruch Merkur

The Rebbe burning chametz on Erev Pesach

Is it correct to call Torah “opinion”? Ironically, this column (originating in Beis Moshiach Magazine) bears that suspicious label despite extensive citation. Surely sources stand on their own authority and need no other credentials.

(Also, opinion is only opinion if there is difference to that opinion, another side of the story. I don’t think I ever had, over the period of a quarter century, anyone offer an alternate reading to anything I’ve quoted or translated – including highly provocative, earth-shattered revelations of the Rebbe.)

True, the Talmud itself is a symposium of dialectics and conflicting interpretations. The spectrum of opinion varies widely in contextualizing the same sources. “These and these are the words of the living G-d.” But before a majority perspective is determined, there is deliberation and debate, communication and community.

Today there are complaints of stonewalling those who dare take a stand on controversial issues, such as how to contend with the pandemic - in terms of lockdowns and masks, treatments and of course, vaccination. These people are shutdown and cancelled, and their sources ignored. The only debate that ensues is ad hominem – who does this guy think he is?!

Divine providence had me sit once again at a Shabbos farbrengen. The venue had been closed to outsiders since the outbreak of Covid, to limit exposure. Before heading out, I was criticized for not being more animated or engaged. I didn’t think my host wanted to debate what was really on my mind (which was my ongoing distaste for the very old school approach of bachur shaming, rebuking them before the Pesach break the way a parent would warn a secular teen before spring break). So I just said, “You don’t want me to farbreng.”

His response was not inquisitive; it was judgmental and conclusive: “Boruch, you gotta get back in shape…” I left.

There was no prior conversation about my shape – what I’ve been up to throughout the year, what I’ve been writing about, current focus, future aspirations - just a blanket diagnosis: out of shape.

Cancel culture is alive and well even at a farbrengen, the place designed for raw and real! Now that is out of shape.

The problem is more serious in that it is not even recognized as such. Just this week another chasid told me, “The thing that sets us apart is how close we are in our community, how we daven together, etc.” I found this remark so odd (despite this person’s heightened spirituality and aloofness) given that no one in our community seems to have close friendships. And davening together? The shul had been closed for a year!

This disconnect or denial is the cause for our inability to communicate and have a true sense of community. We must at least wake up to the truth of widespread apathy and distance, especially as the goal is the exact opposite: earnest t’shuva and genuine care for each other.

*

The Pesach seder is first and foremost about open, genuine communication, especially by engaging the impressionable next generation, the children, “meshichoi.” It narrates the story of where we came from (emerging from a culture of idolatry and anti-Semitism) and where we are headed (to receive the Torah and become the treasured nation). It is honest about who attends and what motivates them (the Four Sons) and has us pause to note who is absent (the Fifth Cup speaks for the unseen Eliyahu HaNavi and the longstanding promise of “next year in Yerushalayim,” and there is the bitter absence of the “Fifth Son,” who doesn’t even bother to attend).

Pesach is about “leaping” forward towards genuine devotion to G-d. It is about recognizing how G-d Himself animates our t’shuva.

The first step towards that is knowing that it is so. Learn the sources. Learn what the Rebbe says about the times we live in. Ask yourself if you are any closer to living with the goal and get in shape to do just that, wherever you observe it lacking.

If your opinion matters, first listen to yourself. Take your own advice first and maybe one day someone will listen to you and hear what you have to offer. Ultimately we will have community and everyone’s opinion will matter. A kosher un freilichin Pesach!