TEACHING TANYA BASED THERAPY

R’ Gil Barak had a long and winding journey from when he was a party boy to his spiritual search in an Indian ashram, until the night when his neshama was shaken up and he escaped. A short time later he met the Rebbe’s shluchim, learned some Chassidus, and his neshama found peace. * Today, R’ Gil is a psychological counselor who uses Chassidus combined with modern means to convey his messages

For over a year now, R’ Nadav Cohen and counselor R’ Gil Barak have been working together on an internet project for spreading the wellsprings and sharing the values of the Tanya as a therapeutic tool. The collaboration between the two is perfect. R’ Nadav Cohen is the author of a book on the Tanya (the English translation is titled: “GPS for the Soul”), while Gil Barak has a degree in psychology and provides the complementary ideas in modern psychology terms. In every course they emphasize the tremendous advantage in Chassidus-based treatment.

“The possibility of taking the treasures hidden in the Tanya and extracting the therapeutic tools to help people, starting with oneself, to get over phobias, anger, depression, addiction, and then training the patients to treat and help anyone in difficulty, while also providing for anyone who wishes to grow and realize much more of their own potential, is no less than amazing,” explains Gil.

The next stage is to reach the maximum number of people in a minimum amount of time, worded in terms that convey the Tanya easily and conveniently and in a way that people can relate to and accept. The development of technology in recent years has enabled them to realize their dream. The two of them have worked hard and have finally completed an internet course by which students all over the world can be reached at a minimal cost.

“We have 6100 people who receive our materials on a regular basis. The course is divided into six mini courses of six sessions each. Each session has an audio recording, a visual presentation, a guidance pamphlet and assignments.

“The emphasis, of course, is on the practical implementation. We believe that in order to treat others, a person first must treat himself,” says Gil. “Throughout the course we provide support through phone conversations, email correspondence, and texts. At the end of every course there is a test.”

PARTY ORGANIZER

Gil Barak’s earlier life would not have given you any indication where he would be today. Gil was born in Petach Tikva and grew up in Ramat Gan in a typical Israeli family.

“In preschool I was evaluated as a disturbed kid who has difficulty adapting to social norms and in first grade I was sent to a school for kids who have difficulty listening, concentrating, and behaving. When I was seven, my mother had her doubts about this and sent me to be evaluated by a private expert who dismissed the earlier diagnosis.”

The new diagnosis was that Gil was extremely gifted with a quick mental grasp. Gil was sent to a class for the gifted. Some years later, Gil became interested in sports and he became a member of a youth team in Ramat Gan.

“My mother, like all of her family, was an accountant, and my father was a successful contractor. Materially, I lacked for nothing but spiritually, I knew nothing about Torah and mitzvos.”

Gil was accepted to the exclusive Bleich High School while he continued with his successful sports career. At his mother’s request, he concentrated on biology. After the army he worked as a party planner in Tel Aviv and was tremendously successful.

At age twenty-one, he ran a successful company and made a fortune.

“An onlooker would think we reached the top of the world. They were jealous of us.”

Paradoxically, when he would return to his apartment in the morning, he would cry.

“The emptiness got to me. My friends would look at me and did not know how to calm me down. They thought I was crazy. ‘You have half of Tel Aviv in your pocket. What is stopping you from enjoying it?’ they would ask me, and I did not have an answer for them.

“There were those who said, ‘You will become a baal t’shuva,’ but I didn’t understand what they meant. What connection was there between the emptiness I felt and miserable closeted religious people? As time passed, the emptiness became more unbearable until one day I felt I could no longer betray my soul.”

IN FOREIGN FIELDS

Gil shocked all who knew him. He took his backpack and announced that he was taking time off to examine his feelings, and was leaving the business registered in his name to his partners.

“My first stop was the capital of Thailand, Bangkok. All the Israelis I met directed me to the Chabad House where I was invited to come for the Friday night meal.

“I showed up and loved it. It was the first time in my life that I was exposed to Kiddush and a Shabbos meal with singing. I enjoyed it tremendously but it still did not touch me. I did not think for a moment that I could slake my inner thirst in the Chabad House. I had planned a long trip and the next day I went into isolation on the islands and beaches of Thailand. There too, at first I enjoyed the experience and was excited but then the emptiness hit me again.”

One morning, as Gil sat and contemplated the wonders of nature on one of the gorgeous beaches of Thailand, he noticed a book.

“It was about a person who had plenty of material wealth but he threw it all away and found happiness in mysticism. The pleasures of the world are transient while spirituality offers something that remains forever. This appealed to me and I decided to listen to the advice in the book and leave Thailand for India. I kept referring to the book during that time. I considered it the oracle that guided my life.

“My first stop was in Puna where there is a center built by a guru. After he died, his followers have kept up the place. I quickly became an integral part of the place. I changed my clothes for an orange robe. I shaved off my long hair and I was there day and night, reading books and doing yoga and meditation.

“This was the first time in my life that I felt good. For quite a while I felt calm and serene. I had the feeling that I had found the love of my soul, inner happiness. I felt removed from the events of the world and was no longer in the rat race but was completely immersed in spirituality.

“This feeling was eviscerated suddenly one evening when there was a special party. All members of the ashram were asked to don white robes. Music played and we all danced. When excitement reached a peak frenzy, the organizers suddenly removed a white curtain which revealed the image of the guru. People began bowing to him. But I couldn’t do that. I had this indescribable feeling. My neshama was sparking, my body was trembling, and I felt dizzy and that I had to escape from there.

“Suddenly, all the feelings of emptiness returned and struck me harder than ever. I threw off the white robe and ran to where I lived. I collected my things and fled from Puna.”

Gil’s next stop was Pushkar. “I met a friend who was becoming religious through the shliach, R’ Shimi Goldstein, and he took me to the Chabad House. I was very skeptical at first. What touched me more than anything else was the shiurim in Likkutei Sichos. I was there for nine straight days. Every night we learned another sicha and I felt that this was filling me up. In the Chabad House I understood what the difference is between Judaism and the mysticism of the nations of the world. Here you operate within the world while there you seek to disconnect from reality.”

One of the bachurim who worked at the Chabad House was Omer Yehoshua. Gil credits him with the “final blow” that led to his commitment to return to his roots.

“Even after I understood that Judaism is the truth and Chassidus is the right path that leads a Jew to serve his Maker, the evil inclination did not let me alone and my intellect continued questioning. A question that persisted was: what if the path of the Torah is not the truth, G-d forbid? By divine providence, Omer Yehoshua gave me a CD with a lecture that explained how everything is derived from Torah.”

Gil decided to burn ten of these CD’s and give them out to visitors to the Chabad House.

“I remember that that night I really got the fact that the Torah is true and there is nothing aside from it, intellectually or emotionally. I cried until the morning. I couldn’t sleep. This time, they were tears of joy upon discovering my Creator.

“Every night I would attend a shiur in Shulchan Aruch, and I immediately implemented whatever I learned. When we learned about tzitzis, I put on tzitzis, and the same for t’fillin and netilas yadayim.”

T’FILLIN THAT WERE
SENT FROM HEAVEN

After a stay in Pushkar in which he acquired the basics, Gil was uncertain about whether to use the ticket he had for Australia. He finally decided to continue his trip as planned but this time, his goals and destination were clear. As soon as he landed in Melbourne, he visited R’ Dudu Lieder’s Chabad House where he learned for two months.

“After two months in Melbourne, a few days before I returned home, when I already had the first wisps of a beard, I decided to write to the Rebbe and ask for a bracha. I committed not to miss putting on t’fillin anymore.

“I was tested right away. The next day I was supposed to fly to Vietnam for a stopover and then continue to Eretz Yisroel. I did not own t’fillin yet and I did not know whether there would be Jews on the flight who could lend me t’fillin. This really bothered me and I hoped that Hashem would send me a good shliach to help me. The next morning I went to Rabbi Sebbag’s kollel in Melbourne and asked around for a pair of t’fillin from one of the men there so I could put them on.

“R’ Sebbag came over to me and said that one of the men was calling me. He was a well-to-do person who said that he had been watching me over the past few weeks and he saw how I looked for t’fillin every morning, and therefore, he decided to donate a pair of t’fillin to me. I was so astonished by this gesture. I had not dreamed of such divine assistance. Till today, these are the t’fillin that I use.”

That day, Gil flew to Eretz Yisroel and after landing there, he went to learn in the yeshiva in Ramat Aviv. Gil described how surprised his parents, family and friends were at the change in him. They soon realized he was serious about this and they respected his decision.

He learned in yeshiva for seven years and turned into a Chassid and a mekushar. During those years he also studied psychology at the Open University after receiving a clear answer from the Rebbe through the Igros Kodesh and after consulting with his mashpia.

“My friends in yeshiva snickered. Whoever heard of such a thing for a Tamim who was still in yeshiva? But the truth is that without an explicit instruction from the Rebbe, I would not have done it. Since my mother asked me to finish my degree, I asked the Rebbe and opened to an answer about a student who began studying and the Rebbe urged him to finish the course of study.”

After seven years, Gil married and settled in Ramat Gan.

“The story of my shidduch is incredible. On our first date, my wife told me that she also visited the Chabad House in Pushkar. She took out a picture that she took there and told me about a bachur who was there and teaching Torah who impressed her. I looked at the picture and was astounded. It was me! Some time after becoming a Tamim, I flew to India again to help out at the Chabad House and that is when my picture was taken.”

In recent years, Gil has become a marriage counselor. He lectures a lot on the subject and has produced a series of amusing clips about relationships. He has also written two books on the subject.

“When I finished writing the first book, which is based on sichos and maamarim of the Rebbe, I wrote to the Rebbe through the Igros Kodesh and opened to a letter which has a bracha for a book published by Kehos.

“A long while later, when I finished editing my second book, I wrote to the Rebbe again and asked for a bracha. How amazed I was when I saw that I had opened to the same bracha as for the first book.”

CHASSIDUS AND MODERN PSYCHOLOGY

As mentioned earlier, this past year, Gil and his friend Nadav Cohen have collaborated on a project. As someone who has studied both Chassidus and, l’havdil alfei havdalos, modern psychology, why isn’t modern psychology enough to heal a person?

“In modern psychology, the focus is on the ‘I’ of the animal soul, what it wants, what desires it has. If those desires are reined in, the person is successful in life and if not, he needs help. Man is seen as impulsive and egotistic and everything he does is self-serving. There is no concept of unconditional love, no altruistic behavior, no loving your fellow as yourself.

“Chassidus explains just the opposite to us. For a Jew, his real ‘I’ is his G-dly soul, as the Baal HaTanya explains in chapter two of Tanya. True, a Jew also has animal desires, but that is only a component of who he is and it cannot be dealt with solely with solutions for the animal soul. Reining in his animal soul is not enough for a Jew. A Jew needs to examine everything in the context of his mission in the world and what G-d wants of him.”

Can you give an example to illustrate this?

“According to modern psychology, if a person is aggressive by nature or lacks patience, he will be sent to play soccer or to train in judo in order to let out all his aggressiveness. That is the ultimate solution that modern psychology can come up with so that he doesn’t annoy people and he channels his nature in positive ways. That’s enough.

“According to Chassidus, this is not enough. If he has no Torah and mitzvos, he will feel empty. If he does not fulfill his mission in life, if he does not achieve his destiny, he won’t feel good about himself. If you send a Jew to play sports, it might be good first aid, but for the long term, his G-dly soul, his inner ‘I,’ will yearn to fulfill his mission in this world, to express his neshama.

“As a psychologist using the Alter Rebbe’s approach, a person like this will be sent to be involved in inyanei Torah and mitzvos. With the right guidance, he can find fulfillment for his G-dly soul by doing what he is meant to do.”

What feedback do you get?

“We get nonstop feedback with a high percentage of reactions from professionals in the field who take a great interest in our courses. Here is something we heard recently: ‘Finally, my soul found what I’ve been looking for. In a fascinating and clever way, you have succeeded in constructing a course with therapeutic and practical tools according to the Torah view of the psyche of the Alter Rebbe. My life is divided into two parts – before the course and after.’

“Here is the feedback of a psychotherapist: ‘I want to thank you for the course, which definitely provided me with another valuable tool; with all the professional knowledge that I have as a psychotherapist, I had the privilege of doing some work with myself, all thanks to the insights we received from you. It was fun to be part of the Tanya community.’”

Gil concluded the interview by saying, “We need to understand and feel the ‘v’niflinu’ (i.e. what sets Chassidus and Chassidim apart from everyone and everything else). Many Chassidim who learned and were raised with Chassidus are looking for answers to their questions in psychology books and all kinds of therapies. They don’t realize that the answers are to be found in the teachings of Chassidus and Tanya.”