THE REBBE HID ME IN THE CLOSET

In the Rebbe Rayatz’s final years, only the senior Chassidim were allowed to attend his farbrengens. R’ Dovid Goldstein, who lives in Tzfas now, and was a young bachur in those days, tells of many creative ways he used to try and attend the farbrengens or the t’fillos with the Rebbe Rayatz. * About the hiding place the Rebbe suggested in the Rebbe Rayatz’s apartment, about the hakafos in the Rebbe’s room, and when the Rebbe blocked the way to the second floor. * R’ Dovid was present in the early days after the Rebbe accepted the nesius and he has fascinating memories of what the Rebbe told him in yechidus, and how he secured a promise from the Rebbe for children for the Admur of Komarna after the Rebbe said, “Promising is something only Hashem can do.”

R’ Dovid Goldstein learning with bachurim in Yeshivas Tomchei T’mimim in Tzfas

THE FIRST TIME I SAW THE REBBE RAYATZ

The first time I saw the Rebbe Rayatz was at a farbrengen that took place in a hotel. While waiting for him to come out to farbreng, the Rebbe was in an inner room and when they opened the door, I peeked and saw him for a second.

Afterward, the Rebbe came out to farbreng with the crowd which had gathered. As he spoke, he banged on the table now and then. 

At the end of the farbrengen, when they sang, “Ki B’simcha Seitzei’u,” the Rebbe said that they will go to greet Moshiach with this niggun.

The Rebbe left the room in a wheelchair, then stood up and entered a car. When they helped the Rebbe get up from the wheelchair and get into the car, R’ Leibel Simpson approached the Rebbe and gave him his hand for “shalom aleichem.”

WHEN YOU GROW UP – YOU’LL LEARN IN LUBAVITCH

When I was a youngster, they did not let me learn in Yeshivas Tomchei T’mimim, since it was very far from my parent’s home and I needed to be close to home for my health.

I wrote about this in a number of letters and received several responses from the Rebbe Rayatz. In one letter, he explained to me that because of my health I was unable to go and learn in the Lubavitch yeshiva now, and in the meantime, I should go to another yeshiva which was closer to home. When I would get older and be healthier, with Hashem’s help, I would learn in Tomchei T’mimim. 

AT THIS FAIR, YOU NEED TO DANCE

My brother Yosef related that one time, Erev Simchas Torah, the organizers of the Mesibos Shabbos gathered children and made an event for them in the sukka downstairs, in the area between 770 and the library. During the event, the Rebbe (Ramash) stood on a chair and addressed the children in Yiddish. The Rebbe Rayatz, who heard the Rebbe speaking from his window, tried with all his strength to get over to the window to see the children and he smiled broadly when he saw the Rebbe addressing the children.

During the gathering, a few sharp-eyed bachurim noticed that two windows were open on the upper floor and they did not see anyone who opened the window standing and looking. Afterward, they asked the Rebbe Rayatz about it and by way of answering, the Rebbe told them that when R’ Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev asked the Alter Rebbe at the big wedding why he did not say v’shumru, for it was known that during the recitation of v’shumru there is a big fair going on up above, the Alter Rebbe said, “not at every fair do you need to dance [i.e. participate].” 

The Rebbe Rayatz concluded, “At this fair, you need to dance.” 

THE LAST YAHRTZAIT OF THE REBBE RASHAB

At the last yahrtzait of the Rebbe Rashab in the lifetime of the Rebbe Rayatz, 2 Nissan 5709, there was a large crowd that pushed in during the davening at Shacharis and Mincha. As for Kabbalas Shabbos, people figured that they would not allow in those who would come because it would be close to candle lighting, so there was a very small group, not even a minyan. Then the bachurim were able to be part of the minyan and by divine providence, I was there at that t’filla. 

R’ Shmuel Levitin was the chazan and the Rebbe Rayatz sat at a table near the bookcase on the eastern side and davened, and before k’gavna said Kaddish.

POUR OUT YOUR WRATH

“At Shefoch Chamascha” at the s’darim of the Rebbe Rayatz, they would open the door and then the rest of the crowd would enter and remain until the end.

THE REBBE HID ME IN THE CLOSET

While the Rebbe Rayatz reigned, I tried a number of times to enter along with the senior Chassidim to the farbrengens that took place upstairs in 770, on the second floor, but wasn’t always successful.

One year, when the Chag Ha’Geula of 12-13 Tammuz was approaching, I decided that I had to be successful this time. Long before the farbrengen began, I went upstairs before anyone thought of going up. I sat near the door and waited for my opportunity.

After a few minutes, the Rebbe passed by and saw me sitting there and waiting. The Rebbe had often tried to get those bachurim who wanted to attend farbrengens and meals inside, and this time too, he helped me slip inside. He opened the door for me and told me to hide in the clothes closet. I sat in the closet for a long time with my feet curled up. I waited patiently for the Rebbe Rayatz to come in and farbreng.

After over half an hour of sitting in the closet, the Rebbe sent someone to check and see how I was doing and to find out whether I wanted to continue waiting there.

More time passed and the Rebbe Rayatz came in to farbreng and sat in his place. The members of the organizing committee checked the room to make sure there were no bachurim present there without prior permission. During their search, they opened the closet where I was sitting and wanted to throw me out.

I made believe I fainted and they took me to the old Rebbetzin’s room and called Nurse Manya to care for me. In the meantime, they went to get a cup of water and before they returned, I had run inside to the farbrengen.

THE REBBE PREVENTED ME FROM ENTERING

One time, in 5709-5710, the young bachurim who helped with Mesibos Shabbos received permission to pass by the Rebbe Rayatz with the children on Yom Tov night, and wish him good Yom Tov. The Rebbe (Ramash) stood in the doorway and supervised and when I arrived and tried to go by, he stopped me and said I could not go.

THE REBBE’S CONDUCT ON ROSH HASHANA BEFORE 5710

In the Rebbe Rayatz’s final years, the Yomim Nora’im davening took place upstairs in Rebbetzin Sterna Sarah’s room. Aside from a small number of Chassidim, nobody was allowed to go upstairs to daven with the Rebbe Rayatz. Even those who went upstairs did not daven the entire t’filla in the Rebbe Rayatz’s presence and only during the reading of the Torah did they open the door to the room where the Rebbe Rayatz sat and they read inside the room. The Rebbe (Ramash) would stand near the door leading to the sukka porch.

One Rosh HaShana I saw the Rebbe walking and I followed him. The Rebbe went to the Rebbetzin’s room and knocked gently until she opened it. Then the Rebbe asked, “May I come in?” and when she said yes, he went in.

“BORUCH ATA”

On Rosh HaShana 5710, the Rebbe Rayatz read the Haftora, but since it was said with many tears and sobs, you could hardly make out the words. The brachos, on the other hand, were heard clearly, especially the words “Boruch Ata,” which were said by him with particular emphasis and in a manner that seemed to emanate from his innermost being.

HAKAFOS IN THE REBBE’S ROOM

That year, I had the privilege of attending the Simchas Torah hakafos of Shacharis since I pushed in. The hakafos took place around the Rebbe Rayatz’s table, and when they honored R’ Chadakov with the first hakafa, he said “Ana Hashem Hoshia Na” in his characteristic way. When R’ Berel Chaskind imitated him, a broad smile spread across the Rebbe Rayatz’s holy countenance. 

As a rule, the Rebbe Rayatz would sit during the hakafos near the window between the fireplace and the door to the sukka and would encourage the singing with a wave of his hand. Now and then he would bang on the table that was near him.

One time, during the hakafos, I bought the verse, “Ba’avur Dovid Avdecha” because Dovid is my name, and the Rebbe Rayatz smiled when he heard this.

In order to be able to sneak into the hakafos, I went to the apartment early in the morning and remained there until Motzaei Simchas Torah. I could not leave for even a minute because I was afraid I would not be able to get back in.

I remember that a bachur by the name of Yisroel Chanowitz was late and in order to attend the hakafos, he climbed the main door of 770 outside and from there he jumped into Rebbetzin Sterna Sarah’s room.

The Simchas Torah farbrengen, which took place following the hakafos, was longer than the regular farbrengens which took place at that time. It ended a few hours after Yom Tov was over. During the bentching, the Rebbe Rayatz sat at the head of the table and the Rebbe (Ramash) on his left. The Rebbe looked into the Rebbe Rayatz’s siddur and they bentched together.

MOTZAEI SHABBOS PARSHAS BO 5710

On the Shabbos that the Rebbe Rayatz passed away, on 10 Shevat 5710/1950, I was in Boro Park. We did not hear any news. On Motzaei Shabbos, I went with my brother Yosef and Sholom Mendel Simpson to 770 and we found out the sad news.

During that dreadful time, I heard the Rebbe Rayatz’s secretary, R’ Moshe Leib Rodstein say to Berel Rivkin, “We are a bunch of drunks. We do not understand what happened here.”

WITHOUT ANY EXTERNAL EMOTION

During the tahara and funeral, we did not see any external signs of anything on the Rebbe, not even one tear. But that was only during that time. Afterward, during the year of mourning, at every Maftir and every sicha, there was crying to the point that sometimes there was a pause of several minutes before the Rebbe continued.

A MAAMER WITHOUT INTRODUCTIONS

I remember that during one farbrengen in the early years, there was a huge commotion and terrible pushing that disturbed the farbrengen. 

When the Rebbe saw that time was passing and the crowd was not quieting down, he asked that it stop. When that did not help and the chaos continued, the Rebbe got up, said good Shabbos, and left.

In the early years, sometimes even in the middle of a sicha, the Rebbe would start a maamer without the introduction of the Rostover niggun and everyone would stand.

At one farbrengen in the early years, the Rebbe told the Chassidim to turn over their hats and wear them upside down and the Rebbe did the same. Then, the Rebbe took off his sirtuk in order to wear it backwards and told R’ Yitzchok Dov Ushpol to do the same.

On Acharon shel Pesach 5710, the Rebbe farbrenged until three in the morning.

A SUIT JACKET – THAT IS THE ANSWER TO YOUR QUESTION!

Throughout the Shloshim after the passing of the Rebbe Rayatz, the Rebbe wore a sirtuk. When the Shloshim were over, the Rebbe went back to wearing a short jacket.

When one of the senior Chassidim tried to urge the Rebbe to formally accept the Chabad leadership, the Rebbe said, “This (the short jacket) is in answer to your question,” meaning, he was not willing to officially accept the nesius.

“AND HIS HEART WAS ELEVATED IN THE WAYS OF HASHEM”

In those days, anybody could walk into the Rebbe’s room and any of the Chassidim who wanted to consult with the Rebbe or ask for a bracha would knock at the door and enter. I did this too, and one day, during the year of mourning, I knocked at the door and walked in. I began asking questions I had in matters of avoda.

The Rebbe listened and then said, “What relevance does this have to you?” (Meaning, I had asked for tikkunim for various things and the Rebbe said that my avoda needed to be in a way of “and his heart was elevated in the ways of Hashem,” and to increase the good and holiness and not deal with the negative.)

A week later I went to the Rebbe again to ask questions that were on my mind, and the Rebbe asked me with a smile, “Would you also go to the shver (my father-in-law) every week?”

DOING MITZVOS JOYFULLY

When I was a young bachur in 770 in 1948, I asked the Rebbe about tzitzis. The Alter Rebbe writes that the measurement of the garment needs to be absolutely straight with no folds, and when it is folded, the part that is folded is not counted in the measurement. I suggested that perhaps the tzitzis should be tied together like apron strings so that the garment could not fold.

The Rebbe negated this and suggested that I do as some Chassidim did (this practice began spreading at this time) of putting a gartel over the tallis katan.

Being a bit too smart I told the Rebbe that the way I wanted to do it was more reliable. The Rebbe said, “It seems from what you’re saying that you are not doing mitzvos with joy.”

A SEGULA FOR PRAYING WITH CONCENTRATION

I once had yechidus with the Rebbe in 5711. I asked the Rebbe about davening with kavana and the Rebbe said that a segula for this is to daven from a siddur.

The next time I had yechidus, I told the Rebbe I had tried davening from a siddur but it wasn’t enough and I wasn’t successful in concentrating properly.

The Rebbe asked me, “What language is closest to your heart?” When I said English, the Rebbe said, “Take a siddur in English and when you don’t understand the words of the t’filla, you can look at the translation.”

In connection with this, one time when I passed by the Rebbe for kos shel bracha, the Rebbe spoke to me in English. I assume the reason is that since in that yechidus the Rebbe heard that English is my first language, he chose to speak to me in the language most comfortable for me.

From a t’shura for the Greenberg-Altein wedding

MIRACULOUS EXEMPTION

Mr. Yaakov David of Staten Island relates:

When the Rebbe Rayatz passed away in 5710, I was 18. I received draft orders for the war in Korea. It was Erev Rosh Chodesh and my mother (who had yechidus with the Rebbe Rayatz on the last Thursday before his passing), went with me to the tziyun to pray that I be exempt from the army.

When I was about to leave, the Rebbe arrived at the tziyun accompanied by the senior Chassidim. My mother, who did not know the new Rebbe, went over to the man with the longest white beard. He immediately moved to the side and pointed in the Rebbe’s direction.

My mother went over to the Rebbe and asked for a bracha for me. The Rebbe told R’ Leibel Groner to arrange yechidus for us. When we walked into the Rebbe’s office at the appointed time, the Rebbe told us to say chapter 71 of T’hillim (which corresponded to the age of the Rebbe Rayatz) throughout the year. He also said that when I was seen by the doctors for my physical exam, I should tell them I am sick.

When I went to the draft office, a few doctors were sitting there. Each of them was in charge of examining a specific area. Although I was medically fit to serve in the army, they all decided unanimously that I was sick in every respect and they sent me home with a full exemption. It was incredible.

Since that yechidus, the Rebbe gave me special treatment. Whenever I went to a farbrengen the Rebbe told me to say l’chaim.

 EXTRACTING A PROMISE

When the Admur R’ Yisachar Ber of Komarna (who passed away in B’nei Brak on 3 Kislev 5767) visited the United States, he asked me to have yechidus on his behalf and ask the Rebbe for a bracha for children. The Admur had been married for eight years and the last time he had had yechidus with the Rebbe was fourteen years earlier.

In yechidus, I mentioned his name to the Rebbe and asked for a bracha for children. The Rebbe asked me how he supported himself and I said he was involved with a kollel. The Rebbe asked whether he learned in the kollel.

After I corrected myself and said that he raises money for the kollel, the Rebbe asked where he lived and mentioned that he had been in Yerushalayim. I said that he recently moved to B’nei Brak.

I asked the Rebbe again for a bracha for children and the Rebbe said, “When I will be at the tziyun, I will mention him.” I was not satisfied with that and said, “I want a promise.” The Rebbe said, “A promise? Only Hashem can promise.”

I got up my nerve and asked, “To whatever extent the Rebbe can promise …”

The Rebbe softened and asked me, “What is his wife’s name?” I said I think her name is Sarah, but the Rebbe said, “I think her name is Rivka.” (Afterward, I checked and one of her names was indeed Rivka).

The Rebbe added, “Find out from his brother (R’ Alter Yitzchok Elimelech Sufrin) who lives in New York, and then tell the secretariat.”

My insistence paid off and the Admur had three children.

***

On another occasion, I approached the Rebbe during a farbrengen to ask for a bracha. I wanted an explicit promise and the Rebbe said the same thing, “Hashem makes promises.”

I said the same thing I had said back then, “To whatever extent the Rebbe can promise …” but this time it didn’t work. The Rebbe waved his hand dismissively with a big smile.